How to cook a steak
What do you need to make a quality steak?
Tools of the trade, in no particular order:
- 2 large bone-in, grass-fed, grass-finished ribeye steaks
- Unadulterated, un-messed with, coarse sea salt
- Coarse black pepper
- Garlic powder
- Onion powder
- Butter or beef tallow, or both
- Apple cider vinegar
- An old lady’s cast iron skillet
- Large stainless steel pot
- Tongs
- Strainer
- Thyme
- Mountain Valley spring water (still)
- An unusually large (for effect) knife
- Wooden cutting board
- Patience
- A large, carnivorous dog
- Teeth
- Glass container
Step 1:
On your wooden cutting board, place your thick, fatty, marbled, grass-fed, grass-finished ribeyes. Coat said ribeyes generously with with sea salt, pepper, onion powder, and garlic powder. For the next 60-90 minutes, whilst your steaks are reaching room temperature, go for a walk in the sun, do some push-ups, bond with your complimentary opposite, read a book, or engage in some other primal activity designed to make you better than you were 60-90 minutes earlier.
Step 2:
Preheat your oven to 200 degrees Fahrenheit.
Step 3:
Heat a well seasoned cast iron skillet on the stove. If this skillet belonged to an old woman at some point, you can rest assured it has been properly cared for and is well seasoned. Either way, though, it MUST be cast iron. Get it scorching hot… like nuclear hot.
Step 4:
Once your skillet is hot, put a small amount of beef tallow in it. Once the tallow is liquid, place your ribeyes in the skillet, making sure that the entire surface is in contact with the said skillet. Cook for 75 seconds, flip with tongs, and cook for an additional 75 seconds.
Step 5:
Place a bunch of butter and thyme in the skillet and place the skillet in the oven. Wait 50 minutes. Engage in additional productive, primal activities.
Step 6:
Remove the skillet from the oven and put the steaks back on the cutting board. Let the steaks rest for 20 minutes. Do more primal stuff.
Step 7:
Use an unusually large knife to cut the steak into manageable pieces and pour the buttery, tallowy, steaky mixture from the skillet onto the manageable pieces and use your teeth to devour this delicious, nutrient-dense meal.
Step 8:
Place the bones, leftover fat, and whatever you didn’t eat in a large, stainless steel pot. There is no advantage in this particular cookware having belonged to an elderly woman. Just make sure it’s steel. Pour your Mountain Valley spring water over the leftovers. Add a dash of apple cider vinegar to initiate a chemical reaction that aids in the breaking down of collagen and extraction of marrow. Bring to a boil.
Step 9:
Reduce heat to low. Wait 4-6 hours. Engage in further character building, primal activities.
Step 10:
Use the strainer to strain liquid into a glass container. This liquid is called bone broth. Drink it.
Step 11:
Give bones to a large dog.
Congratulations. You just had a delicious, nutrient dense steak and some bone broth chock full of protein, vitamins A, D, E, K, B12, collagen, amino acids choline, creatine, carnitine, minerals iron, magnesium, selenium, copper, and omega 3 fatty acids. You learned a new skill. You became a better, more primal human, and your dog got a much deserved treat.
For more help with your nutrient-dense, nose-to-tail diet, email our ribeye eating, bone broth drinking, primal performance experts.
